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JOKES ABOUT OPUS |
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15 November de 2002 at 12:10:39  
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Hi, I have created this page RISOTERAPIA for those who want, do them the jokes here may know about Opus.
Amapola |
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15 November de 2002 at 12:13:11
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It turns out that St. Peter had to go on holiday so I put in the Gate of Heaven an angel to take his place.
- How will this, "asked to see who can come in and who is not?
"Very easy," said St. Peter, take this Bible and this wad of money and each person you ask him which of the two preferred. If they choose the money, send them straight to hell.
When Peter was preparing his luggage was scared the angel.
"Peter, do not know what happened, but suddenly I'm out of money without having sent anyone to hell.
- How was that? asked for the keys of Heaven.
"Well, you got one that asked me the Bible but, being very devout, has made flipping through it and he said:" Angel would you be so kind to give me a little card to bring this chapter? "As I had nothing else I gave him a five hundred euro note, but just give it, ask me again marked another for another section of the book, and so on until I left without one euro.
- Damn, angel, "said St. Peter, you've been cast as another of Opus!
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He dies a little old lady who had committed some peccadilloes "brothers" in their life (those that anathematize the opus ...) and get to heaven St. Peter's greeted with a big smile and a fatherly hug. Then he says: Come il take you to the place of heaven where you belong.
- And what is this place? asked the old woman.
- Is that what you always dreamed it would be your heaven. You dreamed of living forever on a deserted beach and there we go, your eternidada on a deserted beach!
They started walking and going through other people's heaven. In one of rock music did he hear in other card games, another good swim in a pool, etc. (each according to what he had dreamed all his life that would be heaven).
Suddenly, they pass through a hallway behind the old woman heard a door many voices in unison saying, "Thank you, Lord," And who asked and here is San Pedro??
Ah! Here are the opus that think they are the ones who are being saved ....
Dear Lucy I hope you do not mind that you have copied your nice joke here, otherwise, just tell me and blot.
Hugs.
..................................................................................
He was a man in the street when suddenly you see a friend of his accompanied by 12 children.
- Gee, Luis, did not know you were the Opus? impressed, "he says.
- Are you talking about the children? asks Luis.
"Yes," says the other.
"No, it does not belong to Opus, what happens is that I am a manufacturer of condoms and these are the claims.
Amapola |
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| 37 |
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13 December de 2002 at 11:53:37
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Hello friends, I pointed out a new joke and I will try to pluck a smile:
"Mom, Mom, my brother has stolen a thief's Opus.
- God! exclaims the mother-but ... "As you know, Berteddu that the thief was Opus?
"Very easy, because a common thief says: The bag" or "life. And he has asked my brother's bag "and" life.
To funny. Well, not all of aplaudáis time. I also admit criticism.
 
Amapola |
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| Berto |
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13 December de 2002 at 18:53:15
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Hi, Poppy. I am Berto, the friend of children. What a happy coincidence that the protagonist of your joke Berteddu call. Or was coincidence? I welcome, in any case. I will contribute a joke in this section:
It was the result that it dies a numerary of Opus Dei. As he was superfiel, not as others (and not look at anyone, not even I look at myself), it turns out that was straight at gates of Heaven itself. There he awaited the San Pedro regulation of all these jokes. Our good cash tells San Pedro:
- Good. I came to Heaven.
St. Peter replied:
- Then wait to consult the list to see if you figure, because you must know that here comes everybody. Would you please give me your name?
Good cash replied:
- My name is Poppy. Amapola Martinez
San Pedro went to look at the list of those admitted. (Our good cash was a little puzzled when he saw that the list had thousands and thousands of names. He even mosques and thought, "Let's see if I have been lifelong shower with cold water and holding rules, regulations and abnormalities to now here among everyone. "She thought, but he told St. Peter, of course).
San Pedro, meanwhile, had just consulted list. With a look of resignation, told our cash:
- Sorry Don Poppy, but you can not be. Not included in the list
- "Why not  almost shouted the cash-If I have been in Opus Dei numerary since age 16!
Then St. Peter raised his arms and face of resignation said:
- You have said before, my good man! Or did not know that the work will, as elsewhere, in a separate list?
End of joke. And goodbye. |
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| Ulises |
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13 December de 2002 at 19:13:12
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Two friends walking down the street and one says to another:
- 'Do not you know I was trying to enter the Opus?'
- 'And how you took it of sexual abstinence?'
- 'Fatal, had to spend six months of abstinence, and when he went for the third, and not take it anymore my wife bent down to pick up a soap, and I rushed there, I took off my clothes and take a powder bestial'.
- 'What, you threw the Opus?'
- 'Damn, Opus and supermarket ...'. |
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| 37 |
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13 December de 2002 at 20:13:04
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They die in an accident three cash and, when they reach the gate of heaven St. Peter tells them they can not come because at the time they are remodeling the rooms and works are fed up with gold. Then they, negotiate with the keys that let them in exchange for lending a hand in the work.
- What do you know? "Ask Saint Peter.
"Everything. "They say them.
"Well, tell me your names.
"My name is Mario Murillo.
"Then you put bricks.
"I'm Henry Segovia.
"You get some water from the wheel.
"And I'm Berto Moreno.
"For you the sky is full.
 
Amapola |
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| 37 |
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14 December de 2002 at 12:22:50
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Berto is coming to St. Peter and says he disagrees with the deal, which was unfair.
Berto-Okay, I will distribute the work again. "He says the saint and, immediately afterwards, he asked people their peers.
"Okay," says Berto goalkeeper sky-way "if I change the distribution you will be happy with what you touch?
"Yes.
"Well, pay attention:
You Mario, as you are bald,
put bricks from the scaffolding.
You Enrique, since you're blond,
water bags of the wheel with the handlebars.
And you Berto, being dark,
you go to hell hell out.
 
Amapola |
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14 December de 2002 at 21:03:51
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Ulysses, joking and returning the ball to Berto, I forgot to tell you that I laugh to match your joke, it's a pass, if you know any more, put it in this section to laugh at all for a while. Thank you.
Amapola |
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| Goro |
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15 December de 2002 at 06:28:30
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OD a partner dies., Sources are unclear whether it was cash, added or supernumerary into the sky was astonished by all the magnificence of heaven, aghast moving slowly without leaving their amazement, comes before a gate of exquisite handmade beauty is realizes that there is an intercom, lift the handset at the other end a voice almost unmistakable question, your name! I am so and so, OD, Peter, that I remember, Abreme please slums, yeah, right wait a minute. A significant lapse of considerable time, our pious friend in desperation turns to take the intercom. - Peter, do not forget me, and please let me go, on the other end with a subdued voice St. Peter replies, "waiting child at a time when I open a few more minutes pass, that our friend is asked endless. For the third time making the intercom and says "Well Peter, what are you going to opened!, Her voice sweet, delicate, almost imperceptible replied," Yes, if you open it, let alone pass the Administration.
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| 37 |
12 tracks
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15 December de 2002 at 13:32:56
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Goro, your joke is good, very good, but perhaps only what we understand the numerary assistants ditto and we have been in an administration. What we got nervous when we watched for any reason one of you!, What unnatural!, We acted almost as if we had seen the devil: ale, to run, hide, that we should be invisible cleaning, just like if the cleaning will be undertaken by angels.
Everything happened so that hopefully happen for everyone, long live freedom!
Thanks for your good mood. Chao.
Amapola |
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| 37 |
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17 December de 2002 at 09:59:43
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He died at a young age and suddenly, a numerary assistant and when it comes to the door of heaven to tell him to hurry to get in because the waiting. Penetrates, surprised by this information, and, just across the threshold until it is about an angel carrying in his hand a black uniform, a white lace apron and a pretty lace cap also.
"Here, get dressed right away," he says that you must serve the table of ladies.
"No way," she protested my dream of Heaven was that the girls I served the table and not the reverse.
"Sorry," says the angel, but the dream of them is that they continue to serve the auxiliary because there is more attentive maid and instructed that those prepared to serve on earth, and over you are free.
- Come one!, "Said the girl indignantly And to satisfy your dreams have to trample mine?
"They have more weight, because when Dad's daughters, her family has paid more masses for their souls than yours.
"Well, if this is going to be my heaven," says the aide-rather go to hell.
"So be it. -Judgment of the angel, and at that moment occurs, the girl, in the reign of Peter Botero.
"Hello," he tells a devil-here you can choose to polish the floor with some cloths on your feet while you wear sackcloth three in each leg, or sit at the table and let you serve for the ladies, as someone we have to make them live their hell.
"Of course I prefer the latter. "He says the girl imagine hell to be more fun than it has dealt.
"Then sign here comprometiéndote to spend eternity leaving you serve the meal.
She delighted firm and sits at the table. That's when you realize that the dishes are poorly scrubbed the utensils have leftovers and the vessels have no transparency.
There comes a lady with her white gown, to serve the soup, he pours some of the soup by clothing. Try ditto, and more than salt, it being bitter, then bring him almost raw chicken and for dessert you are given a wormy apple.
"Now I understand," he says bitterly, "these can not even laugh an egg, so they and I are going to pass a living hell.
  
Amapola |
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17 December de 2002 at 19:26:22
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There are three children of about 5 years playing in the park and suddenly says one
"My father is superguay, because I always buy what I ask and me to see the movies I want y. ..
"Well, mine says the second-is superrich, it has a fleet of ships and many aircraft y. ..
"Mine is also SUPER," says the third-is supernumerary.
"And what does this mean? "asked the other children.
"I do not know, maybe that has a factory to do children, because my mum brings him one every year.
Amapola |
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| Goro |
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18 December de 2002 at 05:51:13
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Dear Poppy:
I appreciate your comment, about what you say, I remember my first year living together, we left after the Meditation Oratorio and the Mass, we would have breakfast when I remembered I had forgotten something in the room where he slept, of course we do not comment anything to anyone, and when he quietly climbed a few steps from the room one could see two or three people who fled throwing what they had in their hands, everything was so loud that frightened me and I hit a big jump, and forgetting what was, I ran away they almost fall into the escaleras.Me felt embarrassed, and as expected it ended with a C. Fraternal that afternoon.
An affectionate greeting
Goro. |
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| Goro |
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18 December de 2002 at 06:21:29
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Simultaneously came a Protestant, a Jew and one OD. Heaven, St. Peter pretends to OD first and realizes that give a sedan Protestant latest model, the OD plan, while rubbing his hands, whether that gave Protestant sedan, I do not imagine what I give to my passes !!!!, then Jewish, and St. Peter gives him the keys to a brand new Cadillac. The OD surveys the scene and think if that car will play the Jew, that I will give myself as OD .!!!, je je je. When it's your turn, go with a satisfied smile, he thinks of a Jaguar, or maybe a BMW, or maybe a Ferrari, St. Peter gives him the keys to economic Seat, the OD is speechless.
- Co-as ..., San Pedro apology but ... there's some mistake?, OD'm .!!!
"If I know, says St. Peter.
"But if the Jew who does not even believe in you, nor in the Lord he is rewarded with a great car and I ... prayer, mortification, etc.. etc. see what you give me !!!.
"If I know," says St. Peter, but you do not know is that the Jew is a relative of the Lord.
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| 37 |
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18 December de 2002 at 21:42:01
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Went a cash Retiro Park by meditating and thinking:
"I leave the Opus or not I leave," he said, "what I absorbed, and what do I do?, I know, if I thought Jesus appears in person and tells me to go, I go without thinking twice.
Suddenly someone touches her shoulder and said: "I am Jesus Christ and have come to tell you that you can leave the Opus without any guilty conscience.
The cash looks strange and frightening to say - How do I know you are who you say you are?
"Give me a test to prove it," says Jesus.
"Well, according to the Bible Jesus Christ could walk on water, how you do it?
"Of course, says getting into the lake was there. But, so much had was sinking and sinking.
- See how you're Jesus? - Tells the cash when you leave.
- You've seen my feet? asks the stranger.
- What do you mean? "says the other.
"Well, when I could walk on water was not wearing these holes from the nails of the cross.
Amapola |
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| 37 |
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20 December de 2002 at 11:14:09
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Opus one lived in a village isolated in the mountains and every day it moved to a city where there was a house of the Work, to hear Mass, receive Communion, and so on. Well, it turns out that one morning when he awoke, he saw that it had snowed, so, so, the snow covering the door and the windows boarded up.
The only thing that came to mind when he saw what was that that day he played confession and was not going to leave. So while raging in his mind: - What will that do? became very nervous and began to walk from one wall to another, from one to the other and vice versa.
In these musings was when, in their faces, Jesus Christ appeared.
"Hi," he said, "I have come to celebrate you a Mass for you to stay calm.
"Because I must also confess.
"Well, I confess. "Jesus said.
- Are you of Opus Dei? asked our hero.
-No. he said with a look of surprise.
"Well then, thanks for the offer, but can not be.
Amapola |
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